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3 of the most batshit crazy "Ancient Aliens" theories


Source: the History Channel.


If you’ve seen even one of the 200 episodes of “Ancient Aliens”, you know that the show can go a bit off the rails sometimes. Based around the ancient astronaut theory -- first appearing in Erich Von Daniken’s 1968 book “Chariots of the Gods” -- Ancient Aliens proposes that aliens have not only visited earth, but they have intervened in human history for centuries.


According to Daniken’s theory, prominent leaders and prophets have, throughout history, misinterpreted alien encounters as “signs from God”. The Sumerians, the Aztechs, the Chinese, the Egyptians…they all were influenced by, and worshiped, aliens. In and of itself, this isn’t the craziest theory I’ve ever heard.


But "Ancient Aliens", a show that has singlehandedly tainted the History Channel name, takes this theory and turns it up 1,000 notches. Basically, take any prominent figure from history, mythology, or religious texts, and yup -- they either were an alien themselves, or had been influenced by aliens. Aliens were in the garden of Eden. They put ideas in the heads of Da Vinci and George Washington. They even impregnated the Virgin Mary. These theories, understandably, are a bit difficult for me to wrap my head around.


But here at Misfits and Mysteries, we love a good conspiracy. So, here’s a list of the three weirdest things Ancient Aliens have ever proposed.


1. Aliens Killed the Dinosaurs.

Let’s start with the beginning, shall we? Using less than stellar footprint records and ancient cave drawings as their evidence, Season 4 Ep. 10 proposes that humans and dinosaurs once lived alongside one another. Nice.


Then came along the aliens, who wanted to use humans as their slaves. Not so nice. But to utilize the humans most efficiently, the aliens first had to get rid of their biggest predators, dinosaurs. All of ‘em. Using laser beams from the sky. Yup.


2. Aliens = Satan.

In the beginning, an alien Devil tempted Adam and Eve.


Well, kind of. According to Ancient Aliens theory, the Bible gets the story of original sin all correct, except for one key detail. Adam and Eve were in fact hanging out in the garden of Eden with a shady snake, but it wasn’t the Devil in disguise. It was an alien, who was trying to impart the humans with “knowledge”.


3. The Egyptian Pyramids were Built by, You Guessed it, Aliens.

According to the Ancient Aliens theory, the Egyptian Pyramids are too big and too advanced for the Egyptians to conceive of, let alone assemble, by themselves. Some suggest that Egyptian leaders were following the instruction of extraterrestrial beings throughout the construction process.


This theory fail to acknowledge the incredible intelligence of the Egyptian people -- who were extremely advanced for their time. There’s still a lot we are discovering about this period in time, but I’m willing to go out on a limb and say aliens were not involved.


If you want to hear more in-depth analysis about these stories and more, check out the latest episode of Misfits and Mysteries here.


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